I want to have your abortion
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
