You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Randomize
