are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
