He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
