I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You were trust falling into bushes
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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