Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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