why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
