You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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