I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize