I need help removing her.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
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So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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