so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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