guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
