You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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