Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
