Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
