I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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