hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
