a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
