guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
We're hate flirting, damnit.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
