I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize