How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
