Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
