I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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