Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
