1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
