i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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