fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
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