I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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