you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
