Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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