you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Boobs are out for the taking
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
