we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
