It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send help, water and tortillas.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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