Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
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We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
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Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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