thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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