She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Randomize
