he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
