I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
