I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
