You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
try to milk me bitch
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