I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
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