Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
