If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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