The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
