This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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