Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
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