Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize