he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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