You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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