No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
