We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
