i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
