yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
