Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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