Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
