i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
