Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
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the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
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Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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